Sunday, December 16, 2012
Finished my credit for my certificate with a 75%! Woohoo! A bit lower than my current GPA but I'll take it - it was online only and I found it really tough! I have two credits left to get my certificate. There will be some angst-ing about this but I've decided to wait until January to make any big decisions. More on that in another post:)
I attended 3 social events this week, not including one that I hosted!! I think that's more than I've attended all year??!!
On Sunday I had a few of Sam's "grown up friends" (you know those people you call auntie/uncle but aren't related to you in the least..though you sure wish they were!) over for brunch. I kept it simple but pushed myself to make one or two "new things" that were on the healthy scale. The first was a major success!! Although, next time I would make them smaller than the recipe calls for and I think I would shape them somewhat - they were kinda ugly. But really, really freaking good.
The second I didn't end up serving - they were delish, but most of it stuck to the pan and as I told Sammie " we can't serve that - it looks like someone threw up all over the plate". They made for great lunches though:)
Tuesday I had my last session with my first "survivor". A brief background. The Distress Centre here has a 2 part program for people who are left behind after a loved one has died a sudden, violent death (i.e. homicide or suicide). Part one is the "survivor" sits with two supporters - one is a social worker or professional mental health worker and the other is a "fellow survivor" who has gone through the program. I am obviously the latter. Part two is a group therapy scenario. So, after eight weeks of watching this woman struggle with many of the same challenges I had, and watching her make her way through that hell..well.. I might have gotten teary eyed when she left but I didn't cry. Once I got out on the street and the Salvation Army band was playing Silent Night..well..then I might have cried a bit. I'll never forget her.
Wednesday I went to share some holiday cheer with my fellow volunteers and staff members at the Distress Centre. Ok, now pause for a moment. Re-read that sentence. Go ahead, laugh! I do every time I read the invite "Come share some holiday cheer.." I kid you not! We left early but I had a really nice time getting to know a few more people in that world.
Friday was my work holiday party - and since I 'm new there I was pretty apprehensive. Then the news from Newton came, and I spent most of the day in the bathroom crying. I refused to look at twitter or fb but I had a hard time not letting my mind go there and then the tears would start to leak. I gave myself a stern talking to, and got my shit together.
I did end up changing my outfit 4 times before leaving (thank you Sammie! ) But I had a really, really great time!! Earl and I danced to some Sinatra (although we were the only ones that danced ), the food was delish and the place they rented was very nice as a party location. We had had brunch there a few times and I was really impressed with their party service. We left fairly early but we weren't the first ones to leave so I think that's ok.
Saturday was my girl J's birthday party at this great little neighbourhood pub - Earl and I agreed we want to go back! It was nice hanging out with her friends and sharing some laughs. I also ate the best burger and fries I had eaten in forever. Totally and completely off diet, but I expected plates of pub food so had really limited my intake that day.
Actually, I limited my intake at ALL of these events and it didn't even really feel like it! I didn't eat any dessert, I had little to no alcohol, and, except for Saturday night, my other party bites were very small portioned and very healthy - or at least, natural. Now that I think about it, I wasn't really even thinking about it. I only realized now "right, you had no dessert..hey..you didn't eat any dip or any bread ..oh right Friday you ate very little and drank about 10 red wine goblets of water. " I like it!
We left a bit early for each occasion, and I'm ok with that. I always worry "am i overstaying?" "am i leaving too early?" and round and round it goes. Not to mention a few other social issues I still have to contend with, most especially the "what ifs'. "What if my outfit is all wrong? What if I laughed too loud just now? Crap was I supposed to laugh? What if i just used that word out of context? Did he just roll his eyes at me? Was that a joke I didn't get or were they just being mean? dammit i've run out of small talk! now what?" I think that by leaving before the "what ifs" start really helps me leave with a better feeling overall. Eventually, I hope to just make them stop all together, but hell, i'm getting to the damn parties without a melt down AND having a nice to fabulous time once there. That's more than half the battle darlings.. for now, that's the point.