Sunday, December 16, 2012

Kicking up my heels~

I wish I could wear heels..and if I could I would be kicking them up right now!!

Finished my credit for my certificate with a 75%! Woohoo!  A bit lower than my current GPA but I'll take it - it was online only and I found it really tough!  I have two credits left to get my certificate. There will be some angst-ing about this but I've decided to wait until January to make any big decisions.  More on that in another post:)

I attended 3 social events this week, not including one that I hosted!! I think that's more than I've attended all year??!!

On Sunday I had a few of Sam's "grown up friends"  (you know those people you call auntie/uncle but aren't related to you in the least..though you sure wish they were!) over for brunch.  I kept it simple but pushed myself to make one or two "new things" that were on the healthy scale.   The first was a major success!!  Although, next time I would make them smaller than the recipe calls for and I think I would shape them somewhat - they were kinda ugly.  But really, really freaking good.

The second I didn't end up serving - they were delish, but most of it stuck to the pan and as I told Sammie " we can't serve that - it looks like someone threw up all over the plate".   They made for great lunches though:)

Tuesday I had my last session with my first "survivor".  A brief background.  The Distress Centre here has a 2 part program for people who are left behind after a loved one has died a sudden, violent death (i.e. homicide or suicide).  Part one is the "survivor" sits with two supporters - one is a social worker or professional mental health worker and the other is a "fellow survivor" who has gone through the program.  I am obviously the latter. Part two is a group therapy scenario.  So, after eight weeks of watching this woman struggle with many of the same challenges I had, and watching her make her way through that hell..well.. I might have gotten teary eyed when she left but I didn't cry.  Once I got out on the street and the Salvation Army band was playing Silent Night..well..then I might have cried a bit. I'll never forget her.

Wednesday I went to share some holiday cheer with my fellow volunteers and staff members at the Distress Centre.  Ok, now pause for a moment.  Re-read that sentence. Go ahead, laugh! I do every time I read the invite "Come share some holiday cheer.."  I kid you not!  We left early but I had a really nice time getting to know a few more people in that world.

Friday was my work holiday party - and since I 'm new there I was pretty apprehensive.  Then the news from Newton came, and I spent most of the day in the bathroom crying.  I refused to look at twitter or fb but I had a hard time not letting my mind go there and then the tears would start to leak.  I gave myself a stern talking to, and got my shit together.

 I did end up changing my outfit 4 times before leaving (thank you Sammie! ) But I had a really, really great time!!  Earl and I danced to some Sinatra (although we were the only ones that danced ),  the food was delish and the place they rented was very nice as a party location. We had had brunch there a few times and I was really impressed with their party service.  We left fairly early but we weren't the first ones to leave so I think that's ok.

Saturday was my girl J's birthday party at this great little neighbourhood pub - Earl and I agreed we want to go back!  It was nice hanging out with her friends and sharing some laughs.  I also ate the best burger and fries I had eaten in forever.  Totally and completely off diet, but I expected plates of pub food so had really limited my intake that day.

Actually, I limited my intake at ALL of these events and it didn't even really feel like it! I didn't eat any dessert,  I had little to no alcohol, and, except for Saturday night, my other party bites were very small portioned and very healthy - or at least, natural.  Now that I think about it, I wasn't really even thinking about it.  I only realized now "right, you had no didn't eat any dip or any bread ..oh right Friday you ate very little and drank about 10 red wine goblets of water. "  I like it!

We left a bit early for each occasion, and I'm ok with that.  I always worry "am i overstaying?" "am i leaving too early?" and round and round it goes.  Not to mention a few other social issues I still have to contend with, most especially the "what ifs'.  "What if my outfit is all wrong? What if I laughed too loud just now? Crap was I supposed to laugh? What if i just used that word out of context? Did he just roll his eyes at me? Was that a joke I didn't get or were they just being mean? dammit i've run out of small talk! now what?"  I think that by leaving before the "what ifs" start really helps me leave with a better feeling overall.  Eventually, I hope to just make them stop all together, but hell, i'm getting to the damn parties without a melt down AND having a nice to fabulous time once there.  That's more than half the battle darlings.. for now, that's the point.



Cammy@TippyToeDiet said...

Look at you go! You're slaying dragons all over the place and, I'm sure, looking fab while doing it!

I so wish we could attend a party together. We could make up code words as a reminder that we are absolutely marvelous and spend the evening reassuring one another of that.

December 17, 2012 at 1:09 PM
BEE said...

love your blog!!!!

December 17, 2012 at 7:02 PM
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